Here comes Mudd's Women, and that is a good title for this episode because basically Our Man Mudd just rips it up across this episode. It also moves pretty slowly for the first half, focusing mainly on the confusing legal travails of Our Man Mudd, then suddenly kicks into high gear and juggles thirty plots at once. Let's dive in!
The Enterprise (including the occasional appearance by Uhura, so, that's awesome) is chasing an unregistered ship through an asteroid belt! So, immediately we are in the ACTION. Both ships get messed up pretty bad by the asteroids and stuff (the science of this was hard for me to follow, not because it was unclear, but because I felt like I got it). They beam aboard the captain of that ship, and he is an incredible, huge, hairy Irish beast of a man with a curly mustache and a silver tongue. He is Our Man Mudd, but shhh he's pretending his name is Leo Francis Walsh. He's also dressed like a pirate! No, really:
Mudd explains that there are three other individuals on his ship, but they're not his crew dot dot dot THEY'RE HIS CARGO. If I were Leon Phelps (and I am), I would say "Ooh, it's a lady!" I would say it again two more times, because they're three ladies. And immediately all the bros on the ship are left drooling all over the ladies, except for Spock who currently has two emotions: Not Into These Ladies ~and~ Pissed at The Bros For Being Into These Ladies. Plus Sulu is not into them because he's looking at Our Man Mudd and thinking "More Cushion for the Pushin'" and "Where Can I Get A Sweet Hat Like That?"
It's established that these ladies are with Mudd consensually, and they're looking to marry dudes and so Mudd finds dudes in search of ladies to marry, and gets the dudes to pay for this, and this sounds creepy but is basically space prostitution, which is NOT YET LEGAL/SAFE, which is disappointing. This show was made in 1966 - are there episodes about back-galaxy space-bortions? You know? But there's something weird about the ladies, because they're supposed to refuse medical examinations (PS it is suggested that they might be forced to undergo medical exams, which IS THERE NO CONSTITUTION IN SPACE OR WHAT?). So, keep an eye on that.
We're then subjected to a Space Kangaroo Court, where Our Man Mudd is subjected to a Lie Detector Test while being tried. This seems unreasonable. His real name is revealed, as is the fact that he has a criminal record. He's basically a galaxy-trotting ne'er-do-well named Harcourt Fenton Mudd, which in my book is no crime at all. They decide to keep him locked up, which is fine by him because it's pretty lax security on the Enterprise, and also he's got a secret plan going with The Ladies. One of The Ladies, Eve, is totally head over heels for Kirk (OBVIOUSLY) and is not sure she wants to go through with the schemes. Trust Our Mann Mudd, Eve. He knows what he's doing.
As luck would have it, the Enterprise is badly in need of some dilithium crystals (referred to on this episode as "lithium crystals" which sounds like something a character on Breaking Bad would get addicted to), and Our Man Mudd promises the crew that the dudes who are gonna marry The Ladies have tons of dilithium. Just tons of the stuff, hint hint. Our Man Mudd bangs out a deal with the miners before Kirk even knows what's happening. And so here come the miners!
But first, The Ladies are chilling in Our Man Mudd's cabin (chilled-out lockdown environment, Kirk) and they cannot find their pills! What kind of pills? The kind of pills that keep the ladies from looking hideous. So, twist. The ladies aren't really beautiful! They just look beautiful when they take pills.
The miners meet The Ladies, and other than Eve everyone's getting along pretty well. Eve doesn't really want to party with these guys, so the three miners start fighting over the other two ladies, and things break down. Eve bolts, and now the gang needs to track them down or else they can't get the dilithium and so on. Also, the planet's covered in dust!
Everyone goes looking for Eve for a while, then one of the miners just kind of stumbles upon her and they go back to his place where she is mighty unhappy to be with him. She shows him how pissed she is by cooking him breakfast (?) and he is angry about this (!). He tells her that a real man makes his own breakfast, and hotties are only for banging. Her good looks fade, and he's like "Well, what's the point?" Kirk and Our Man Mudd show up (I missssssed himmmm) and explain about the Hottie Pills, which are apparently illegal too? What is with space criminalizing everything, you guys? I can understand an ethical argument against taking a pill to make you conventionally attractive (probably this was an allegory about plastic surgery?) but making it illegal seems excessive, especially because it appears to have no negative effects. Kirk casually holds out a pill and she swallows it and gives the miner a hard "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT???!!!"
Then Kirk, that sly old dogg, explains: the pill was a placebo. You went back to being a hottie because you gained Self Confidence! Kirk gets the dilithium crystals, smirkingly discusses imprisoning Our Man Mudd, and Eve gets married to the coal miner, because now they're into each other.
I'm sorry, but this episode is space-insane. She gets more beautiful because she gains self-confidence? Does she learn a valuable lesson or something? Is this episode a fairy tale? Because of the Space Magical Realism of this episode, I'm inclined to think of it as non-canonical. A little folk tale, basically. Let's close out with a Kirk Smug Mug COUPLED with a OUR MAN MUDD SMUG MUG:
Two pieces of housekeeping:
I really hope that Mudd comes back. I probably don't mind about spoilers, if someone mentioned that he shows up again, but obviously I'd want the details to be a surprise. But he is one of my all-time favorite characters on the show so far, maybe tied with Fencing Sulu for second, after Uhura Always.
Also, it has come to my attention that some of my readers are genuine Star Trek fans (or "Starries," as they prefer to be called) and want to comment to correct my understanding of a story or to generally engage me about the show. Feel free! I'd love to know what you guys think of this silly ol' blog.
The Enterprise (including the occasional appearance by Uhura, so, that's awesome) is chasing an unregistered ship through an asteroid belt! So, immediately we are in the ACTION. Both ships get messed up pretty bad by the asteroids and stuff (the science of this was hard for me to follow, not because it was unclear, but because I felt like I got it). They beam aboard the captain of that ship, and he is an incredible, huge, hairy Irish beast of a man with a curly mustache and a silver tongue. He is Our Man Mudd, but shhh he's pretending his name is Leo Francis Walsh. He's also dressed like a pirate! No, really:
Mudd explains that there are three other individuals on his ship, but they're not his crew dot dot dot THEY'RE HIS CARGO. If I were Leon Phelps (and I am), I would say "Ooh, it's a lady!" I would say it again two more times, because they're three ladies. And immediately all the bros on the ship are left drooling all over the ladies, except for Spock who currently has two emotions: Not Into These Ladies ~and~ Pissed at The Bros For Being Into These Ladies. Plus Sulu is not into them because he's looking at Our Man Mudd and thinking "More Cushion for the Pushin'" and "Where Can I Get A Sweet Hat Like That?"It's established that these ladies are with Mudd consensually, and they're looking to marry dudes and so Mudd finds dudes in search of ladies to marry, and gets the dudes to pay for this, and this sounds creepy but is basically space prostitution, which is NOT YET LEGAL/SAFE, which is disappointing. This show was made in 1966 - are there episodes about back-galaxy space-bortions? You know? But there's something weird about the ladies, because they're supposed to refuse medical examinations (PS it is suggested that they might be forced to undergo medical exams, which IS THERE NO CONSTITUTION IN SPACE OR WHAT?). So, keep an eye on that.
We're then subjected to a Space Kangaroo Court, where Our Man Mudd is subjected to a Lie Detector Test while being tried. This seems unreasonable. His real name is revealed, as is the fact that he has a criminal record. He's basically a galaxy-trotting ne'er-do-well named Harcourt Fenton Mudd, which in my book is no crime at all. They decide to keep him locked up, which is fine by him because it's pretty lax security on the Enterprise, and also he's got a secret plan going with The Ladies. One of The Ladies, Eve, is totally head over heels for Kirk (OBVIOUSLY) and is not sure she wants to go through with the schemes. Trust Our Mann Mudd, Eve. He knows what he's doing.
As luck would have it, the Enterprise is badly in need of some dilithium crystals (referred to on this episode as "lithium crystals" which sounds like something a character on Breaking Bad would get addicted to), and Our Man Mudd promises the crew that the dudes who are gonna marry The Ladies have tons of dilithium. Just tons of the stuff, hint hint. Our Man Mudd bangs out a deal with the miners before Kirk even knows what's happening. And so here come the miners!
But first, The Ladies are chilling in Our Man Mudd's cabin (chilled-out lockdown environment, Kirk) and they cannot find their pills! What kind of pills? The kind of pills that keep the ladies from looking hideous. So, twist. The ladies aren't really beautiful! They just look beautiful when they take pills.The miners meet The Ladies, and other than Eve everyone's getting along pretty well. Eve doesn't really want to party with these guys, so the three miners start fighting over the other two ladies, and things break down. Eve bolts, and now the gang needs to track them down or else they can't get the dilithium and so on. Also, the planet's covered in dust!
Everyone goes looking for Eve for a while, then one of the miners just kind of stumbles upon her and they go back to his place where she is mighty unhappy to be with him. She shows him how pissed she is by cooking him breakfast (?) and he is angry about this (!). He tells her that a real man makes his own breakfast, and hotties are only for banging. Her good looks fade, and he's like "Well, what's the point?" Kirk and Our Man Mudd show up (I missssssed himmmm) and explain about the Hottie Pills, which are apparently illegal too? What is with space criminalizing everything, you guys? I can understand an ethical argument against taking a pill to make you conventionally attractive (probably this was an allegory about plastic surgery?) but making it illegal seems excessive, especially because it appears to have no negative effects. Kirk casually holds out a pill and she swallows it and gives the miner a hard "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT???!!!"
Then Kirk, that sly old dogg, explains: the pill was a placebo. You went back to being a hottie because you gained Self Confidence! Kirk gets the dilithium crystals, smirkingly discusses imprisoning Our Man Mudd, and Eve gets married to the coal miner, because now they're into each other.I'm sorry, but this episode is space-insane. She gets more beautiful because she gains self-confidence? Does she learn a valuable lesson or something? Is this episode a fairy tale? Because of the Space Magical Realism of this episode, I'm inclined to think of it as non-canonical. A little folk tale, basically. Let's close out with a Kirk Smug Mug COUPLED with a OUR MAN MUDD SMUG MUG:
Two pieces of housekeeping:I really hope that Mudd comes back. I probably don't mind about spoilers, if someone mentioned that he shows up again, but obviously I'd want the details to be a surprise. But he is one of my all-time favorite characters on the show so far, maybe tied with Fencing Sulu for second, after Uhura Always.
Also, it has come to my attention that some of my readers are genuine Star Trek fans (or "Starries," as they prefer to be called) and want to comment to correct my understanding of a story or to generally engage me about the show. Feel free! I'd love to know what you guys think of this silly ol' blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment